A Flip of a Coin Snippet 06/16/18

Welcome back, everyone! Thanks for joining me for another edition of the Weekend Writing Warrior blog hop. It’s a special time of the week where writers post 8-10 sentence snippets of their work. Don’t hesitate to click on the button for a list of participants this week, check out their snippets and don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!

Without further ado, we continue this week with A Flip of a Coin. Chris accuses the gang boss Flann of being corrupt and taking bribes. Note: this is edited to fit the rules.

“I’m assuming they had a price?” Chris asked.

“Aye, but one I’m not willing to pay.”

“Well, you’ve always been a tight-fisted old bastard,” grinning to himself. “What are they fixing to do anyway?”

“You ask too many questions, lad.”

“Guess it’s too much to ask for a name?”

“Why? You want to take another job from under me?” he spat.

“Depends on the price.”

“You don’t want to get mixed up with that lot. Mark my words, nothing good comes from them up on Primrose Avenue.

Well, that’s it for now, I must return to my editing. Fun fact, while editing my manuscript this week, I discovered I really like to use the word ‘that’. I mean, 981 times. Wish me luck as I travel down the rabbit hole of removing the little pest.


20 thoughts on “A Flip of a Coin Snippet 06/16/18

  1. I really enjoyed the snippet, as Charmaine says, great dialogue. I have to watch for ‘that’ too, I’m gradually learning to use that word very sparingly, but it’s surprising how many times you can realise it’s just not necessary at all!


  2. Good snippet. I just know that despite the warning, he’s going to contact him. Good luck with the editing. I’ve already been down that rabbit hole. LOL


  3. I like the tone of this snippet. Fantastic chemistry between these two.

    Oh, what did we do before all of these editing tools were available? Good luck on the “that” removal. 🙂


      1. Hi Brittany. 🙂 In answer to the question you left in a comment on my wewriwa post last week, a “Louisville Slugger” is, indeed, a baseball bat. Thanks for pointing that out. Other people might not know either, and then the sentence has lost so much of its punch. I will have to rethink that one. 🙂


        1. I heard some country songs use the phrase and I thought it was a baseball bat. But sometimes I want to confirm in case my brain makes a strange association. I liked how the sentence characterized her sassiness I hope I didn’t throw a wtench in it.


  4. I have a file of ‘Words to delete’ that I go over when I’m editing. ‘That’ is at the top of the list! Nice snippet, makes me wonder who’s up on Primrose Avenue.


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