Welcome back, everyone! Thanks for joining me for another edition of the Weekend Writing Warrior blog hop. It’s a special time of the week where writers post 8-10 sentence snippets of their work. Don’t hesitate to check out this week’s participants and discover some of this amazing talent!
Without further ado, we continue this week with A Thief’s Wager. We continue from last week’s encounter with Flann where Chris accused the gang leader of taking bribes from a rich outsider.
Snippet:
“I’m assuming they had a price?” Chris asked.
“Aye, but one I’m not willing to pay.”
“Well, you’ve always been a tight-fisted old bastard,” grinning to himself. “What are they fixing to do anyway?”
“You ask too many questions, lad.”
“Guess it’s too much to ask for a name?”
“Why? You want to take another job from under me?”
“Depends on the price.”
“You don’t want to get mixed up with that lot. Mark my words, nothing good comes from them up on Primrose Avenue.”
Well, that’s it for now, I must return to my editing. Fun fact, while editing the After Treason manuscript this week, I discovered I really like to use the word ‘that’. I mean, 981 times. Wish me luck as I travel down the rabbit hole of removing the little pest.
*Previously titled as ‘A Flip of a Coin’
Read Chapter One here.
The Scribbling Scribe 
I really enjoyed the snippet, as Charmaine says, great dialogue. I have to watch for ‘that’ too, I’m gradually learning to use that word very sparingly, but it’s surprising how many times you can realise it’s just not necessary at all!
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Price isn’t always about money. I’d be worried what it was.
“That” is a good, invisible helper word. Sneaky little thing!
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Thank you, price and money is a main concept in the novel. And ‘that’ is a sneaky little word, I didn’t realise I had so many!
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Good snippet. I just know that despite the warning, he’s going to contact him. Good luck with the editing. I’ve already been down that rabbit hole. LOL
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Thank you, hopefully, there will be a way out of the rabbit hole soon enough!
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Oooo This sounds interesting…
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I have a feeling Chris might not stay away in spite of the warning. I’m a terrible overuser of “that.” It’s one I always have to search for and destroy!
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Telling Chris to not do anything is like stopping the tide. And yes, I attacked those ‘that’s without mercy.
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Coming from a gang lord, this kind of warning has teeth.
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Flann may seem like an overweight drunk but he’s dangerous.
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Enjoying the story and the way these two go back and forth with each other – nicely done. Great snippet!
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Thank you! I was worried the editing for the guidelines would hinder the flow, but I’m glad it worked out.
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I like the tone of this snippet. Fantastic chemistry between these two.
Oh, what did we do before all of these editing tools were available? Good luck on the “that” removal. 🙂
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Thank you, I would be lost without search and find tools for sure!
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Hi Brittany. 🙂 In answer to the question you left in a comment on my wewriwa post last week, a “Louisville Slugger” is, indeed, a baseball bat. Thanks for pointing that out. Other people might not know either, and then the sentence has lost so much of its punch. I will have to rethink that one. 🙂
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I heard some country songs use the phrase and I thought it was a baseball bat. But sometimes I want to confirm in case my brain makes a strange association. I liked how the sentence characterized her sassiness I hope I didn’t throw a wtench in it.
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I have a file of ‘Words to delete’ that I go over when I’m editing. ‘That’ is at the top of the list! Nice snippet, makes me wonder who’s up on Primrose Avenue.
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Thank you, Primrose is a lovely place… to some. I have a little list of words I compiled to delete, however, the more I look for recommendations the longer the list becomes.
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Love the dialog. You caught the flavor so well.
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Thank you so much
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