Our Affliction (11)- Smoked Cloaked Battlefield

Hello one and all, and welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop! Every week authors showcase their words and it’s our chance to read something new, make connections and most importantly make friends. After you’re done here, don’t forget to check out the rest of the participants this week.

Last week we were with Natalie as she recalls the fateful day her world changed. This week’s snippet continues from the line:
I picked it up and my whole world changed. Literally. 

Snippet:
The world faded to grey smoke. Everything around me vibrates and my vision blurs, like a camera out of focus. The wet grass is cold from the thick fog. Ancient trees with heavy barren branches reach out to me. There’s shouting somewhere, maybe it’s Conor? Maybe he’s hurt? As I run the sticky spurs lining the path snag my dress. My heart races as the world falls silent. Like the deep breath you take before diving in the pool; the world pauses on edge. BOOM!

That’s ten lines, but here’s a few more:

The air shatters. Echoing like broken glass. BOOM! The ground under me shudders. My ears are ringing. The smell of smoke wavers through the trees. Another explosion. Men shout from the smog. They’re all around me. Footsteps shuffle through the grass. I’m surrounded. But they don’t see me. A man dressed in a grey uniform with a black collar emerges, his war cry breaks the fog and he points his gun at my face. I stare down the barrel then focus on the knife attached to the tip. He takes aim. With a desperate fear scrawled across his smooth face; his trembling finger squeezes the trigger. BANG! A flash of fire and a puff of smoke. Behind me a man screams and falls dead. I see the light leave his eyes and blood seeps from his neck, spilling over the grass. His shaking hand reaches for my face. I scream. 

When I open my eyes Conor is sitting over me in the grass. I can barely hear him, my vision is blurred and I have no control over my shaking limbs.

The doctors called them seizures. But I know they’re wrong.

Well everyone, I think I’m going to end the scene here so we can all catch our breath. It will take Natalie years before she figures out the correlation between her sense of touch and the visions certain objects produce. But I’m hoping you’ll continue to follow Natalie on her journey.

Speaking of a journey, each one begins somewhere and I want to announce that Our Affliction: Chapter Sample is live. So stop over and check out how this journey started. Hint it involves the musket ball involved in this very scene. Hope you enjoy! Stay safe my friends!

*Previously titled: Locked Away

Update: Full Prologue can be found here

15 thoughts on “Our Affliction (11)- Smoked Cloaked Battlefield

Comments are closed.